oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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