I just pynch a tree in the face
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize