Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

look no pants

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(434): View more from Virginia

I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.

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(443): View more from Maryland

I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.

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(727): View more from Florida

he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(630): View more from Illinois

I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.

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(416): View more from Toronto

this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?

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(541): View more from Oregon

MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT

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