I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
time to smoke my breakfast
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
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My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
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That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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