I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
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Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
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It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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