you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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