The maid of honor just puked.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize