2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
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We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
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I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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