i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
he shaved USA in his pubs
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
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He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
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Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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