how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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