who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
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she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
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Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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