The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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