My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize