I am spending my child support on dildos
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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