I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
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