i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
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he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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