At least make sure they are 18
Why
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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