Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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