is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize