so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
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I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
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He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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