can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Welp...herpes.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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