Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
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like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
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You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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