hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize