today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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