You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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