So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of a bidet.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize