I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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