I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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