ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
It was confusing and full of hummus
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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