She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
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he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
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Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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