Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize