I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
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He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
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I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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