my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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