YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Randomize