I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize