please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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