I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize