Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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