dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
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Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
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I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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