You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize