In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I want her autograph on my taint
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize