Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize