are you still at the devil's house?
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I want to make a zoo with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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