oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
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