Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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