I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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