Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
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I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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