the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I need moral support for this bender
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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