what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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