butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
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