I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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